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Me, Opening the Box with the New AA Credit Card In It…Wow!

Here’s one thing I know about blogs: everyone loves when some blogger they don’t personally know receives a credit card in the mail and posts pictures of themselves opening the package. Woo is that interesting. I know, because in some sort of moment of clarity, I posted exactly that 2 years ago. Fascinating, right?

Well, I’m not one to let down my readers, so when my Citi Executive AA card arrived in the mail in a nice package, I thought that everyone might like to follow along as I opened it. Here we go!

Here’s something you don’t see every day – a piece of mail! Except this one contains a credit card. Probably.

I thought a scissors would be the correct tool to bust open that bad boy and start on my way to collecting those 100k miles. Oooh, I can just taste those miles – so tasty!


Hm, that didn’t work. I tried a few more times. Son. Of. A. Bitch. Open, goddammit!


OK, fine. I’ll fight fire with fire. We’re going to use a credit card to get to the credit card. And earn 1 Starwood point per dollar spent.


Also not a success. Next obvious solution: open it with a magazine with Dr. Oz on the cover.


A few more failed attempts. Hammer:


Playbill from performance of Matilda:


Hacksaw (Not of the Jim Duggan variety, unfortunately):


We’re making progress. Now for the big guns. Ooh, free lounge entry, here I come! A box set of Sports Night should do the trick (Quo Vadis?), being pounded with a hammer:


Almost there. Speaking of free booze in the lounge:


Finally, I’ve gotten through to the inner box, which I will now slice open with a mandoline:


The inner sanctum! Nothing a soldering iron can’t fix:


And finally, with the help of a drill, here’s the card. download

Wow, that was exciting.

Added bonus info: Did you wonder how to hit that $10,000 minimum spend to earn those miles? I’ve got a great solution: Buy something for $10,000.

See you Monday!

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  1. Bravo! Comic gold.

    Adding to the hilarity for me: the day before getting my new card, I got an overnight FedEx envelope from Citi telling me that my card would be coming soon.

    • Yeah, I got FedEx’d the APPROVAL letter, too. Pretty absurd, as I had been approved on the web as soon as I submitted my application, and had already set up my account. Two days later, I got the card in a box like Jared’s. Opening the box was “interesting,” but I used fewer tools than Jared. The hardest part was being momentarily unable to figure out how to open the inside black box. It was practically an IQ test.

      Between the fancy box and the two FedEx shipments, I figure Citi spent about 20 bucks on getting the card to me. I suppose I’m supposed to be impressed. I just wish they had spent that money on a few onboard drink coupons or something else more useful.

  2. Well done Jared. Your blog has really picked up it’s game since you got the curtain call from pimping affiliate links. Seems your true personality and witty humor are in full effect now.

  3. Yeah I had to get a knife myself. Pretty packaging though!

  4. So disappointed now that ours just came in overnight envelopes.

  5. Whaddyamean, “some blogger they don’t personally “? Sharing moments like this has made you a special part of our lives, Jared. Family almost. No, more than family: one of our top 53 travel bloggers. ;)

  6. Nice arm hair. :)

  7. Classic. Thanks for the laugh.

  8. It’s Fantastic posting mr jarid. Splendid funny comedy for Internet.

    For best informed please to give your mothers maiden name and the street you grew up on? Also did you have pets? What were their names.

    For best fun also need your last 4 security social numbers.

  9. Awesome!

  10. Fairmont cards come all fancy shmanshy too. I feel so special.

  11. Great job jared! That’s how a “real” man opens a package! P.S. shouldn’t you black/white out your home or work address?

  12. Sports Night!

  13. Do you recommend first class mail, or do you not think the premium is worth it from business class mail?

    How are the fuel surcharges with FedEx?

    • The business class mail is good, but if you like Krug, I would go for first class.

      No surcharges on FedEx if you mail the letter from Brazil. You should fly down there to mail it – you’ll save the surcharges.