Arrive at Auckland’s airport. Go through security. I have this discussion:
Security Gentleman: May I look through your bag to check for creams or gels?
SG: (Holding up deodorant). Well, this is a gel and it says 4 ounces on it. You can only have 3 ounces.
Me: (cursing myself for forgetting to take obviously dangerous anti-smell gel out of my bag prior to flight) Well, it’s only about 1/3rd full. There’s clearly not 4 ounces in it.
SG: I know, but we go by what is on the label. The label says 4 ounces.
Me: OK, but there’s obviously not 4 ounces in it.
SG: That’s true.
Me: Then why can’t I bring it?
SG: Because the label says 4 ounces.
Me: Can I cross out the label and write, “just about 2 ounces” on it?
Me: Why not? I thought the label matters.
SG: It does, but it has to be printed on there.
(seriously, I had this conversation)
Me: So the ban isn’t on the amount of gel in the container, it’s a ban on what’s written on the label?
SG: No, it’s what’s in the container.
Me: But there isn’t 4 ounces in the container.
SG: No, there’s not. But I’m going to throw it out.
And so he did.