We’ve all had miserable seatmates on flights, so I thought I’d share the Top 5 People You Don’t Want to Sit Next to on a Plane:
1) The Catapulter. Stands up, grabs your seat for leverage, lets go, flings you forward like a slingshot.
2) The Yapper. Hi. Where you going? I don’t fly much, but I’m going to see my mom in Tulsa. Just go bout once a year. You fly a lot? Oh really? Yeah, I voted for Bush twice…
3) The Snorer. I find that the more, um, exotic, the flight, the worse the snoring. I’ve never heard worse than on a 3:15 am flight from Delhi to Dubai. It was like a tuberculosis ward in there.
4) The Tuna Fisher. Used to be frequented only on flights to Florida, but now a ubiquitous species. Brings food on board with a pungency that cannot be endured for 4 hours. Tuna is the primary culprit, but Whoppers seem to be popular now.
5) The Laptop Crusher. I paid $49 for this flight and dammit I’ll recline as far back as I can. Frequent kicking in the back can generally stave this off. As can sneezing on their head.