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Pssst…Wanna Buy Virgin’s Stake in Virgin Nigeria?

FROM: Dr Howgul Nyerere
Central Bank of Abuja
Abuja, Nigeria

TO: ALL OTR READERS

Dear Sirs and Madams:

I have been requested by the Nigerian National Airline Company (DBA Virgin Nigeria) to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. Our parent company, Virgin Atlantic, has recently decided to sell its 49% (forty-nine percent) stake in our company.  We believe these business endeavours will generate moneys equaling US$42,350,000 (forty-two million, three hundred and fifty thousand).  The Nigerian National Airline Company is desirous of seeking new investors for its business.  However, because my father, the heralded General Michael Nyerere was murdered in a coup in 1993, we are unable to move the funds from the sale to another region.

You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist the Nigerian National Airline Company, and also the Central Bank of Abuja, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then we can forward the funds as directed. In exchange for your accommodating services,  we would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4.235 million of this amount.

However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Abuja.

If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos (we will fly you Business Class, so that you may earn 150% bonus miles), and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of the Nigerian National Airline Company, as well as with certain officials of the Central Bank of Abuja.

Godspeed, my new friend.

Yours truly,

Prince Howgul Nyerere

PS, Virgin Nigeria has been a drain on Virgin Atlantic’s earnings and Singapore Airlines, which is a minority partner in Virgin Atlantic, has been pressuring VA to dump its share in Virgin Nigeria.  In case you were wondering.

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  1. Brilliant! Maybe they could try this strategy to dupe some American investors into putting more money into Virgin America as well.

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