It’s the time of year when all news outlets do Top 10 lists of this or that, so, because I have no original ideas whatsoever, I’m bringing you the 10 Craziest Airline Stories of 2006. Enjoy.
10) A Lithuanian tourist in Cancun runs out of money and heads to the airport to strip for cash so she can buy a ticket home.
9) Baggage screeners at Fort Lauderdale find human head in luggage. Owner claims it’s used for voodoo.
8) Another year of celebrities getting kicked off planes. While Snoop Dogg, DMX and Mo’Nique all had run-ins, I believe David Hasselhoff’s drinking binge prior to boarding a British Airways flight takes the prize. Said a witness, "he had trouble standing."
7) Northwest Airlines killed 9,000 1-day-old turkeys it was transporting from Detroit to San Francisco. This isn’t funny, but killing 9,000 turkeys on one flight is impressive, isn’t it?
6) China Southern tells passengers to pee before they fly to save money.
5) Northwest Airlines publishes pamphlet telling laid off workers they "shouldn’t be shy about pulling something they like out of the trash" to save money.
4) Angry passenger bites ear off of Alitalia employee after being told his flight was overbooked.
3) Turkish mechanic is fired after sacrificing camel at Istanbul’s airport as part of a celebration for completing some work.
2) A woman’s flatulence causes a flight to make unscheduled landing.
1) Passenger carrying penis pump in bag at O’Hare is too embarassed to tell security that it’s a penis pump. So he tells them it’s a bomb.
Have a merry Christmas.