I never bore you dear readers with personal stories, but I thought this was a good one:
My wife (heretofore known as Susan) was flying yesterday from Chicago to New York, when she arrived at the security line. She had dutifully checked her toothpaste so that she wouldn’t try to blow up the airplane with it, but little did she know that she was still a menace. The fine folks at the TSA had her throw out her small tube of lip gloss (which could blow up a 737 in seconds, flat). That would all be fine in this day and age, but she asked if she could at least put some on before tossing it. She was told that, in fact, she could not. They were not kidding. I was not aware that you could not bring lip gloss on board either in a tube or on your lips.
I believe there was an episode of Gilligan’s Island where Ginger was to wear a poisonous lip gloss as a way of killing someone who had visited the island (or something like that), so perhaps Susan’s lip gloss was more dangerous than I thought.
Even so, this is the state of airline security in the US – putting on lip gloss will get you arrested.