In news that makes me want to shoot myself in the face, American Airlines announced that it has successfully tested in-flight cellphone use. A spokesman noted that passengers will be able to use cellphones in-flight in about two years. I am going on record now saying that this will be the worst thing to happen to airlines since Frank Lorenzo. Five hours of some schmuck yapping next to you. I would rather have a screaming baby getting its diaper changed on one side of me and a fat woman painting her nails on the other side of me than have a dude on a cellphone anywhere near my row. I can’t wait to see how they handle this (Amtrak, much to their credit, has quiet cars where you can’t talk on the phone. Passengers on these cars will rise up and verbally harass anyone who dares answer the phone). Oh man, this will be bad.